Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cats & Dogs

Barons Daily Log
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in Forestville State Park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

7:05 Got a pepperoni for returning the ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the cushion in my kennel! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from Simba's Daily Rant...

Day 1983 of my captivity..My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects & something called a laser light. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

26 comments:

  1. Hilarious. You're such a good "post writer" !!

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  2. Now if that doesn't capture the difference between dogs and cats, nothing does. I just LOVED it!

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  3. So true. Lucky that Simba doesn't weigh a hundred pounds.

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  4. This clearly shows why I'm a 'dog' person. Thanks for a great post.

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  5. Ha! I'd forgotten about the cat diatribe, seen it first years ago, don't remember where, but it's still funny.
    My youngest daughter moved back last year, and brought her cat. We've achieved an uneasy truce, somewhat like WW2 USSR and the US. We distrust the other, but need to find toleration.
    Nice post.

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  6. Pretty much sums it up. Dogs are perfect and cats are never happy. Cute post.

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  7. I enjoyed your Baron's daily log! Especially the part about wagging his tail at 3:00. I also enjoyed your story about how you saved your wife's ring at the restaurant! You rock!

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  8. Great post, TB. Would you believe we once had a dog and cat who were best buds? When we adopted the kitten, the dog became her surrogate mom and wouldn't tolerate any nonsense.

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  9. I fenced in a area of yard so my cats can roam in a secure area. They stay inside this most of the time.That dog needs more treats , poor thing.

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  10. OMG! This had me in stitches. Too funny!

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  11. Brilliant, simply brilliant! But what do you do when you have one cat that acts like your Baron and one that acts like a true cat? LOL. Man I want a dog....that eats cats....and not chickens....LOL

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  12. LOL! This gave me a good laugh.

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  13. Bawhahahahahaha.... funny funny funny.... but so true!

    Love it!
    xo Catherine

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  14. My cat is only here to sit on the keyboardddddddd. I won't let her read this. She hasn't gotten the cat memo yet.

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  15. The funny thing is... we always say our boy cat is actually a dog in a cat's body...and the Baron script, absent outdoor references, totally describes his existence, while his sister is pure cat....

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  16. Oh! in case you didn't know about it: live webcam of a bald eagle nest in VA w/ 3 nestlings.
    http://www.wvec.com/marketplace/microsite-content/eagle-cam.html

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  17. Love your beautiful Baron, but I also love fluffy orange tabby cats.

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  18. Pets make old peoples life somewhat better..they are a good reason to get up in the morning:)

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  19. I really enjoyed reading your cat and dog stories.

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  20. LOL! That is too funny. Love how Byron has a "log" but Simba has "rants"

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  21. Okay... it's official! I could sit and read your blog all day long!!
    Love love love this post - Yep, GSD and little feline's...pretty much how they are!
    Thanks for this!
    Ann
    PS Oh no... a cute picture of Baron as a pup is below...what are you doing to me? I'll never get to work (what I planned to do when I sat at my computer just now!) if I stay tuned here! :)

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  22. Agree with Ann Nichols--I could read your blog all day long! But have to pay the bills, so off I go. Thanks for this great dog vs cat view on life!!

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