Troutbirder II - Click pic below to view

Troutbirder II - Click pic below to view
Book reviews plus miscellaneous

Friday, December 27, 2013

Deer Attack


 
With my supervisors permission I was finally able to retire from my duties  as the family Christmas Letter writer.  The ending of that duty had its genesis in the following post I wrote way back in 2009. Progress comes  slowly here on Oak Hill.  The letter was replaced this year by a photograph/card featuring the Grandchildren. Photography is Mrs. T's department....

 

I’m sure most drivers, at one time or another, have had to fill out a car accident report for the insurance company. In the division of labor at the Troutbirder home, writing Christmas letters, filling out reports and questionnaires is my job. Here is part of an accident report (which included a diagram I had to draw)  I was asked to fill out for Mrs T. These are her words.

"I was driving at the legal speed, east on Highway 16 in the early evening. I noticed a deer emerging from the woods and running to cross the road in front of me. Slamming on my brakes I came to a full stop. Unfortunately, the deer did the same thing, right in front of me. Whereupon, the deer turned to face my car, lowered it’s antlers and charged right into my front bumper and left headlight causing all the damage. The deer then fled the scene of the attack back into the woods."


 Somewhat of a skeptic by nature, I managed not to question the veracity of this eye witness account. Here are a few others from car insurance files.

 I parked beside a hedge in a local country lane to go fishing, but when I returned to my car I found that two horses had chewed it"

 "I was waiting at the traffic lights when a wasp went down my right trouser leg. It made me put my foot on the accelerator and smash into the car in front"

 "I couldn’t put my foot on the brake because my credit cards were wedged under it."

 "My car was hit by a sofa when I was driving home last night"

 "A cow fell off the cliff and crashed right onto the top of our van, which was on the highway"

 "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."

 "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

 "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"The light pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck the front end."
Yes, the last example also belongs to Mrs. T.  I was there when the accident  occurred.       Unfortunately, I was asleep on the passenger side and didn't witness the actual attack.       We had made    a   stop at  Wal-Mart off the I-90 freeway in southwestern  Minnesota.
I think I've got to make a serious attempt to get out of my family writing role. "
I did.  Finally!
 

18 comments:

Far Side of Fifty said...

My husband would like to get out of the Christmas letter writing duties too..I told him there is no escape:)

TexWisGirl said...

well, i can attest to the horse chewing on the auto. my gelding had to 'taste' the pretty red paint on one of our honda civics and left quite the teeth marks...

Montanagirl said...

Hilarity! You are soooo funny.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

The reports were very funny -- laughed out loud. You came up with a great idea -- a family photo instead of a letter -- barbara

DJan said...

OH, these are so funny! Probably not to the people who had it happen to them. I laughed out loud at some of them. :-)

Nancy Claeys said...

Our geese chewed the rubber trim off of my husband's new truck one year.

Arkansas Patti said...

That was worth a rerun. Laughed the most at the horse eating the car. My horse got cranky and attacked a friends car. He ate the paint off the fender. Wonder how he described that one?

Red said...

I have done the Christmas news thing for about 15 years. My news was not humorous like yours. This year I said, "No more." Guess what? My wife wrote the news.

Michelle said...

lol I like this!

NCmountainwoman said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

Willow said...

Too funny ~ still smiling !

Anvilcloud said...

I wrote Christmas letters for a few years, but as nothing now seems to change from year to year, I have given up the practice. There are some funny descriptions in this post. It was an enjoyable read after a bad night. I think I'm sick.

Valerie said...

Thank you, who knows one day I might need a good excuse. I know where to come if that happens. An enjoyable post that made me laugh.

Out on the prairie said...

Those deer can be sooooo agressive

Catherine said...

Oh you are too cute!!
I hope you and your sweetie had a most wonderful Christmas! It was beautiful here but now we are right in the middle of a winter blizzard. Bah humbug. :(
xo Catherine

L. D. said...

If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. Our relatives and friends found that out this year as I didn't do it. I may create a new year note and send it to friends and relatives on my email. I liked all the excuses. I hope you win the conflict.

Gail said...

A horse ran off with my camera!

Linda said...

Heh heh! Those are funny!