Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
Click on Mark Twain to jump to Troutbirders book review blog

Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Husband Store


 
 A STORE THAT SELLS NEW HUSBANDS HAS OPENED IN NEW YORK CITY, WHERE A WOMAN MAY GO TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND.

AMONG THE INSTRUCTIONS AT THE ENTRANCE IS A DESCRIPTION OF HOW THE STORE OPERATES.

"YOU MAY VISIT THIS STORE ONLY ONCE!

THERE ARE SIX FLOORS AND THE VALUE OF THE PRODUCTS INCREASE AS THE SHOPPER ASCENDS THE FLIGHTS.

THE SHOPPER MAY CHOOSE ANY ITEM FROM A PARTICULAR FLOOR, OR MAY CHOOSE TO GO UP TO THE NEXT FLOOR, BUT YOU CANNOT GO BACK DOWN EXCEPT TO EXIT THE BUILDING!

SO, A WOMAN GOES TO THE HUSBAND STORE TO FIND A HUSBAND.

ON THE FIRST FLOOR THE SIGN ON THE DOOR READS:

FLOOR 1 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS

SHE IS INTRIGUED, BUT CONTINUES TO THE SECOND FLOOR, WHERE THE SIGN READS:

FLOOR 2 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.

THATS NICE, SHE THINKS, BUT I WANT MORE.

SO SHE CONTINUES UPWARD.

THE THIRD FLOOR SIGN READS:

FLOOR 3 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.

WOW, SHE THINKS, BUT FEELS COMPELLED TO KEEP GOING.

SHE GOES TO THE FOURTH FLOOR AND THE SIGN READS:

FLOOR 4 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GOOD LOOKING AND HELP WITH HOUSEWORK.

OH, MERCY ME! SHE EXCLAIMS,

I CAN HARDLY STAND IT!

STILL, SHE GOES TO THE FIFTH FLOOR AND THE SIGN READS:

FLOOR 5 - THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, HELP WITH HOUSEWORK, AND HAVE A STRONG ROMANTIC STREAK.

SHE IS SO TEMPTED TO STAY, BUT SHE GOES TO THE SIXTH FLOOR, WHERE THE SIGN READS:

FLOOR 6 - YOU ARE VISITOR #31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR.

THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE.

PLEASE NOTE:

TO AVOID GENDER BIAS CHARGES, THE STORES OWNER OPENED A NEW WIVES STORE JUST ACROSS THE STREET.

THE FIRST FLOOR HAS WIVES THAT LOVE SEX.

THE SECOND FLOOR HAS WIVES THAT LOVE SEX, HAVE THEIR OWN MONEY AND LIKE BEER .

THE THIRD, FOURTH, FIFTH AND SIXTH FLOORS HAVE NEVER BEEN VISITED.

 

21 comments:

  1. As a woman I say, " WHATEVER!!!" ha ha ha....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the laugh this dreary rainy morning.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's like the apocryphal Montana ad in the Men Want to Meet Women section:
    Wanted, woman for companionship, must have drift boat.
    Send picture of boat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my goodness - this is soooooooo funny! Thanks for my morning chuckle, TB !!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Really funny, TB. Thanks for the laugh. I might visit the wife store one of these days.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've read about the husband store, but must have missed the wives store! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha ha. Now that is funny and maybe a bit true. I'd have stopped on the second floor at the husband store.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL! Oh you are naughty!!
    Happy weekend!
    xo Catherine

    ReplyDelete
  9. You sure made me laugh! That's a good one, TB. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. What? No guys held out for a good cook?

    ReplyDelete
  11. HA HA HA----how funny!!!!!!! Made me laugh out loud--especially when I read that the last four floors of the Find a Wife Story had never been visited...

    Hugs,
    Betsy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for the smiles. I got a kick out of both of these stores.

    ReplyDelete