Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Monday, September 7, 2015

A Heavenly Conversation

I’ve noted more than a few times on this blog my obsession with converting
two acres of lawn here on Oak Hill to sunny plots of native prairie and amongst the trees to woodland wildflowers. And thru the wonders of the internet I recently ran across a heavenly conversation to buttress my hopes…. Photos of our reconfigured "lawn" by Mrs. T.  :)

GOD: to ST. FRANCIS: Francis, ... You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

15 comments:

  1. We do look ridiculous , don't we?
    And I don't rake---I let the wind blow them around the bases of my flowers and shrubs....and take the rest to the neighbors!! I share!
    :D

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  2. I don't mind mowing, it takes me about 10 -15 minutes on my rider. I like blooms better than just green. You have done a lot to your plot.

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  3. I love your illustrations to go with the text. You've done wonderful things with your yard.

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  4. I think your space is quite lovely! Great work!

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  5. It's madness, isn't it? I cannot get milkweed to grow in my yard. The minute it does...the milkweed bugs come along and kill it. Go figure.

    It seems that the changing climate dictates the "native" species that can survive today's cold and drought. What was native 20 years ago is no longer so. It's a gardeners test to see if they can get anything to grow "naturally." It's definitely a challenge...and expensive.

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  6. So we do everything wrong. We do many things we don't have to. and then we don't get what we want. I like your post. It has a good message.

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  7. Great conversation! Exactly why I have wild gardens! We are a bit compulsive about our lawns...but I don't fertilize ours Chance does that for me:)

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  8. If we didn't do all those things where I live, we'd be the scourge of the neighborhood. Sad, huh?

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  9. This is GREAT. What fools we are! I hope God will be pleased that I turned half the garden into a wildlife area... no mowing, that sort of thing.

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  10. How true, how true. I love the wildflowers and leaves, but I must go to the wilderness to see them in all their true beauty. I have never understood the green lawn fascination. :-)

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  11. Loved this post. I can feel St. Francis's angst. We really are nonsensical creatures when you look at the whole picture.

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  12. Love this post. I shared with my good friend, Sister Patrica.

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  13. The interspersed photos look like you will keep both St Francis and God happy.

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  14. Heh heh! Cute story. I guess you have heard the theory that lawns are prized because wealthy folks had hired hands to take care of them so they became a status symbol.

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  15. This heavenly conversation really says it all and says it right! Thank you for putting your two acres back the way it was intended. I might copy this story and leave it on certain neighbors' front doors! Thanks again for sharing that story and the beautiful photos of your land and your handsome pup!

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