Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Tuesday, December 22, 2020

The Golden years

 

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

 

 I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

 

 When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" I just say, "No, it's for company!"

 

 

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."

 

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

 

 

 The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.

 

 Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"

 

 Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

 

 Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.

 

 

 

Ah! Being young is exciting but being old is comfortable.

 

 Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!

 

 May you always have:

 

Love to share,

 

Cash to spare,

 

Tires with air,

 

And friends who care.

 








 

 

 

 

 

 

     

     

 

 

 

 

14 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your post. Looking back, I seem to have missed your last posts or else my forgetter is working well.

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  2. Thanks for the smiles today! Merry Christmas Ray! :)

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  3. A refrigerator! You made me laugh this morning.

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  4. You started my day off just right with these funnies, Ray. Thank you.

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  5. Love this post, TB! Thank you for the Christmas giggles. :-)

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  6. Hahaha! OMG...LOVE the trooper's story!! My favorite response to the "Hi Guys!" when you enter a store is "I'm a GIRL!" and they always stand there dumbfounded. It's like they don't even know what they are saying anymore.

    Anyway...Merry Christmas, Ray! Keep laughing.

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  7. Thanks for commenting over my way. I always love to hear from you and this post tells me you still have a great sense of humor. Despite the pandemic and your loss I hope that you can still have a good Christmas. I have been in isolation for so long that I've become used to it ! Hugs,

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    1. Isolation seems to go with sheltering in place. I guess most guys don't expect to outlive their spouses but Barb fought the good fight against Alzheimer's for 10 years so I had plenty of time to think about my future. Living in a small town for 50 some plus years has helped a lot with many friends and former students especially the girls who make sure I'm okay and bring me cookies and pies. Getting use to the physical disabilities of aging means most of my adventurous hobbies that I blogged about for years are a thing of the past for safety reasons now so read read read and blogging will be my occupations this winter for sure take care be safe Ray

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  8. Good one, Ray. Thinking about you this Christmas.

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  9. Hi Ray, Wishing you Peace and Joy this Christmas. John

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  10. Hi Ray - that was a great read ... and I'm glad to see you're coping ... family and friends help so much, as we lose our elders, or close friends ... all the best to you in 2021 ... take care - Hilary

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  11. These were fun to read! I wish you the best for 2021. It has to be better than 2020.

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