Family Gender

It seems with the permanent adoption of Lily the GSD, Mrs. T. has found satisfaction in the following fact (to quote her). “For the first time since we been married the females outnumber the males in this household.”  She seems to take great consolation in this fact.

The previous lineup

1.      One husband, one wife, 2 male sons, one male Golden Retriever/Lab cross “Max.”

Max & eldest son Ted

 

2.      Same lineup except female Chesapeake “Chessie,” and later female Chesapeake “Muffy.”

Ray& lapdog "Chessie."

 "Muffy"

 

 

3.      Then one husband, one wife, and one very large male German Shepherd “Baron.”

Youngest Son Tony with Baron

 

4.      One husband, one wife and one female German Shepherd “Lily.”  At last perfection is reached.

This reverie has brought me to consider some gender differences to be aware of now that I’m outnumbered!

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. This gender difference relates to the naming of Lily who arrived abandoned and alone arrived at our friends farm home on an Easter Sunday, where she given her present name.

3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need if it's on sale. Of course, there is no expense in owning a large dog.  Yah right!

4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 137. A man would not be able to identify most of them. We’ve gotten more toys and doggy paraphernalia than ever now that Lily is Mrs. T. dog.  Lily follows her everywhere.

5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Now there are two females barking at me…..:)

7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.  Both worry above their new country dog learning the suburban ropes.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. I can’t think of the Sonny and Cher song that covered this subject.

9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.  Hey every time the lady from the Mayo Clinic calls up to report my INR score is between 2 and 3 she says I’m “perfect.”

10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. Yup!

11. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Ok. Ok. Ok.  Yes parts of this post did not receive Mrs. T's stamp of approval....:)