With my supervisors permission I was finally able to retire
from my duties as the family Christmas
Letter writer. The ending of that duty
had its genesis in the following post I wrote way back in 2009. Progress comes slowly here on Oak Hill. The letter was
replaced this year by a photograph/card featuring the Grandchildren. Photography is Mrs. T's department....
I’m sure most drivers, at one time or another, have had to
fill out a car accident report for the insurance company. In the division of
labor at the Troutbirder home, writing Christmas letters, filling out reports
and questionnaires is my job. Here is part of an accident report (which included a diagram I had to draw) I was asked to
fill out for Mrs T. These are her words.
"I was driving at the legal speed, east on Highway 16
in the early evening. I noticed a deer emerging from the woods and running to
cross the road in front of me. Slamming on my brakes I came to a full stop.
Unfortunately, the deer did the same thing, right in front of me. Whereupon,
the deer turned to face my car, lowered it’s antlers and charged right into the grill and left headlight causing all the damage. The deer then fled the
scene of the attack back into the woods."
Somewhat of a skeptic by nature, I barely managed not to question
the veracity of this eye witness account. Here are a few similar accounts from from car
insurance files.
"I parked beside a hedge in a local country lane to go
fishing, but when I returned to my car I found that two horses had chewed
it causing considerable damage"
"I was waiting at the traffic lights when a wasp went
down my right trouser leg. It made me put my foot on the accelerator and smash
into the car in front"
"I couldn’t put my foot on the brake because my credit
cards were wedged under it."
"My car was hit by a sofa when I was driving home last
night"
"A cow fell off the cliff and crashed right onto the
top of our van, which was on the highway"
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He
then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone
pole."
"The light pole was approaching. I was attempting
to swerve out of the way when it struck the front end."
Yes, the last example also belongs to Mrs. T. I was there when the accident occurred. Unfortunately, I was asleep on the passenger side and didn't witness the actual attack. We had made a stop at Wal-Mart off the I-90 freeway in southwestern Minnesota.
I think I've
got to make a serious attempt to get out of my family writing role. " I don't do fiction very well !!!!
