I’m sure most drivers, at one time or another, have had to fill out a car accident report for the insurance company. In the division of labor at the Troutbirder home, writing Christmas letters, filling out reports and questionnaires is my job. Here is part of an accident report (which included a diagram I had to draw) I was asked to fill out for Mrs T. These are her words.
"I was driving at the legal speed, east on Highway 16 in the early evening. I noticed a deer emerging from the woods and running to cross the road in front of me. Slamming on my brakes I came to a full stop. Unfortunately, the deer did the same thing, right in front of me. Whereupon, the deer turned to face my car, lowered it’s antlers and charged right into the grill and left headlight causing all the damage. The deer then fled the scene of the attack back into the woods."
Somewhat of a skeptic by nature, I barely managed not to question the veracity of this eye witness account. Here are a few similar accounts from from car insurance files.
"I parked beside a hedge in a local country lane to go fishing, but when I returned to my car I found that two horses had chewed it causing considerable damage"
"I was waiting at the traffic lights when a wasp went down my right trouser leg. It made me put my foot on the accelerator and smash into the car in front"
"I couldn’t put my foot on the brake because my credit cards were wedged under it."
"My car was hit by a sofa when I was driving home last night"
"A cow fell off the cliff and crashed right onto the top of our van, which was on the highway"
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"The light pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck the front end."Yes, the last example also belongs to Mrs. T. I was there when the accident occurred. Unfortunately, I was asleep on the passenger side and didn't witness the actual attack. We had made a stop at Wal-Mart off the I-90 freeway in southwestern Minnesota.