Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Monday, August 13, 2018

Deer Attack


 
With my supervisors permission I was finally able to retire from my duties  as the family Christmas Letter writer.  The ending of that duty had its genesis in the following post I wrote way back in 2009. Progress comes  slowly here on Oak Hill.  The letter was replaced this year by a photograph/card featuring the Grandchildren. Photography is Mrs. T's department....

 

I’m sure most drivers, at one time or another, have had to fill out a car accident report for the insurance company. In the division of labor at the Troutbirder home, writing Christmas letters, filling out reports and questionnaires is my job. Here is part of an accident report (which included a diagram I had to draw)  I was asked to fill out for Mrs T. These are her words.

"I was driving at the legal speed, east on Highway 16 in the early evening. I noticed a deer emerging from the woods and running to cross the road in front of me. Slamming on my brakes I came to a full stop. Unfortunately, the deer did the same thing, right in front of me. Whereupon, the deer turned to face my car, lowered it’s antlers and charged right into the grill  and left headlight causing all the damage. The deer then fled the scene of the attack back into the woods."


 Somewhat of a skeptic by nature, I barely managed not to question the veracity of this eye witness account. Here are a few similar accounts from  from car insurance files.

 "I parked beside a hedge in a local country lane to go fishing, but when I returned to my car I found that two horses had chewed it causing considerable damage"

 "I was waiting at the traffic lights when a wasp went down my right trouser leg. It made me put my foot on the accelerator and smash into the car in front"

 "I couldn’t put my foot on the brake because my credit cards were wedged under it."

 "My car was hit by a sofa when I was driving home last night"

 "A cow fell off the cliff and crashed right onto the top of our van, which was on the highway"

 "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."

 "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

 "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"The light pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck the front end."
Yes, the last example also belongs to Mrs. T.  I was there when the accident  occurred.       Unfortunately, I was asleep on the passenger side and didn't witness the actual attack.       We had made    a   stop at  Wal-Mart off the I-90 freeway in southwestern  Minnesota.
I think I've got to make a serious attempt to get out of my family writing role. " I don't  do fiction very well !!!!
 

13 comments:

  1. Well, that was certainly worth a lot of laughs. And then that last photo... :-)

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  2. I know I've followed you for years but I don't remember this one. Cute … until the last picture !!

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  3. Those were so funny. An insurance adjuster has to be an entertaining job.

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  4. I like how your wife gets you to do the dirty work for her.

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  5. "My car was hit by a sofa when I was driving home last night"

    Now, there's a coincidence.....lolol.

    Loved them all and thank you for bringing on a huge smile.

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  6. Ha! They're as good as some of the excuses students present as fact concerning why they don't have their homework done!

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  7. Thanks for the smile:0 We had a deer come running down the road right at us in Indianna one time, we were both awake and couldn't believe it. My best to you and Mrs TB and Lily:)

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  8. Nice to find something to laugh about in this day and age. Thanks, good blogger buddy.

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  9. well that made me laugh....thanks.

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  10. Haha! I laughed at these. Funny, yet completely believable. "The light pole was approaching." Yes, indeed! :)

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