Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Family Gender



It seems with the permanent adoption of Lily the GSD, Mrs. T. has found satisfaction in the following fact (to quote her). “For the first time since we been married the females outnumber the males in this household.”  She seems to take great consolation in this fact.

The previous lineup

1.      One husband, one wife, 2 male sons, one male Golden Retriever/Lab cross “Max.”
Max & eldest son Ted


 
2.      Same lineup except female Chesapeake “Chessie,” and later female Chesapeake “Muffy.”
Ray& lapdog "Chessie."
 "Muffy"
 
 

3.      Then one husband, one wife, and one very large male German Shepherd “Baron.”
Youngest Son Tony with Baron

 

4.      One husband, one wife and one female German Shepherd “Lily.”  At last perfection is reached.

This reverie has brought me to consider some gender differences to be aware of now that I’m outnumbered!

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. This gender difference relates to the naming of Lily who arrived abandoned and alone arrived at our friends farm home on an Easter Sunday, where she given her present name.

3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need if it's on sale. Of course, there is no expense in owning a large dog.  Yah right!

4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 137. A man would not be able to identify most of them. We’ve gotten more toys and doggy paraphernalia than ever now that Lily is Mrs. T. dog.  Lily follows her everywhere.

5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Now there are two females barking at me…..:)

7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.  Both worry above their new country dog learning the suburban ropes.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. I can’t think of the Sonny and Cher song that covered this subject.

9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.  Hey every time the lady from the Mayo Clinic calls up to report my INR score is between 2 and 3 she says I’m “perfect.”

10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. Yup!

11. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Ok. Ok. Ok.  Yes parts of this post did not receive Mrs. T's stamp of approval....:)

 

32 comments:

  1. Good one! I'll use that one tomorrow at work with my co-workers.

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  2. So Lily is moving out and you are moving into the doghouse?

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  3. Love it! You are just too hilarious! Love Joeh's comment.

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  4. I can see why Lily is following Mrs T. Lucky dog!

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  5. I admit that the joke about the married couple driving in the country gave me a good laugh :)

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  6. I had fun reading this one, TB. And the jokes actually made me laugh out loud. :-)

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  7. You're a wise man, TB! As long as you remember all that, you'll do fine.

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  8. Mrs T might not have approved but they are very funny simply because they are dreadfully close to the truth.

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  9. Yeah Mrs T!! I am outnumbered here with my husband and Chance...I am the fav female...because I am the only female. :)

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  10. HA HA HA ---love it.... Hail to the FEMALES. My hubby just lives by ONE RULE: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." ha ha

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  11. Cute post. Lily was the perfect addition to the family to tip the scales in favor of the females.

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  12. Love this! The photos are lovely as well.

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  13. Yep, saluting all females :O)
    Got to use that last bit in support of us ladies.
    Thank you for a most amusing post.

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  14. *giggle* Well, you know what they say "Happy Wife Happy Life"! Clearly a man made that statement. ;)

    Wishing you and your sweetie and pup a most wonderful Easter weekend!

    xo Catherine

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  15. Morning, what can I say but Girl Power!!!! Blessings Francine.

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  16. Never thought about it but it is 2 males to three females in my house with two catz and two dogz.

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  17. I:m sitting here reading this with my grandaughter Lily, she is 4 months od, and laughing my butt off. Great way to start the day! Thank you

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  18. Love your post, so many gems of wisdom. You made me smile with each new factoid. I like your take on the different views of money...so true!

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  19. Funny post. Not all true but all amusing.

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  20. Mrs. T may not have given her stamp of approval on parts of this post, but I grinned my way through all of it.

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  21. This cracked me up! - only partially true, but 100% funny all the same!

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  22. What an absolutely fun read. Thanks for the smiles....and yes, women rule. All good husbands know that. :) LOL!!

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  23. This was fun and way too spot on. I smiled through out but totally cracked up on #5.
    Good luck fella, it is your turn.

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  24. Bundles of smiles for me here...and I thank you for those!
    Hugs and wishes for a blessed Easter for you and yours...
    J.

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  25. I ALWAYS love to read your lists. I have been laughing my way through this one. Thanks. Happy Easter!

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  26. What a fun post -- both parts of it. Great read.

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  27. Poor TB! If you have a man-cave, you might want to hide out there when the girls take over the family room for movie night. Hope you have a Happy Easter!

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  28. I can't stop laughing...
    I especially liked the one about the relatives...

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  29. A good smile on a dreary morning!

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  30. That brought a much needed smile to this face. I am grateful for your sense of humor!!

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