Troutbirder II

Troutbirder II
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Saturday, February 8, 2020

A very good Valentines day in dementia land


I had received an invitation to a luncheon with music at Cottagewood memory care in Rochester where my wife Barb was a resident. Perhaps with music my special Valentine and I be able to dance. When I got there, Barb had a new friend to go along with us. Her name was Nancy. Nancy Nancy and Barb apparently  held hands, on a regular basis.  Barb  regularly reassured her when  Nancy cries that everything was going to be all right. She had also promised to be the matron of honor for a somewhat confused lady who believed she was going to be married at the end of the week although she later changed her mind when she announced she didn't have a boyfriend yet. Several other residents and another couple  sat together for Valentines lunch at a big table after I cleared with the authorities that this was okay and seemed no danger to anyone. I also consulted with the pianist who was providing the music and asked if she could play some slow music after lunch, preferably waltzes, so Barb and I could dance. All I could think of was the Tennessee waltz. She then volunteered that she had many other waltzes in her repertoire. In the meantime, she was playing golden oldies from the 50s. . At other tables everybody seemed to be having a good time. I encouraged our group to guess the songs  from the 50s and so we played name that tune  and also the the name of singer. It turned out people  with dementia beat  those without soundly in that game. Some bad jokes on my part, more fun and  then we heard the Tennessee waltz and maybe it was Patti Page. Barb and I lead the way onto the dance floor. Alone at first and then several other "mixed"married couples(caretaker and resident) joined us. Finally, Barb and I danced around the corner into the kitchen area where a bunch of people in wheelchairs were being watched by a number of the aides. In a somewhat loud voice I told them that they were missing a party next door and though I couldn't guarantee any free beer they were welcome to join us. Some of the aides began rounding up people from other areas in wheelchairs and brought them to join  the dance party.  Here they held hands with those in wheelchairs and they "danced" also. Towards the end as some of the smiling laughing people began to sit down from exhaustion, one of the big shots showed up with the camera and took pictures of the  crowd. Later, I asked for copies and told them with their permission I might advertise their wonderful institution by putting those pictures on my blog. Unfortunately, because this facility is part of a giant corporation and they have lawyers, there are some "privacy"issues involved in that . So eventually, I had hoped to get an edited picture of me and my beloved dancing through the night at our best Valentines day ever. Of course it didn't happen but on this upcoming February 14 Valentine's Day the memory for me will be as strong as ever Ray

19 comments:

  1. Very nice to have started a good dance session, what a lovely feeling to enjoy.

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  2. Hi Ray - it sounds like it was a lovely day ... and at least you were able to spend time with Barb. Lovely - and at least you have the photos for you ... take care - cheers Hilary

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  3. Sounds like a wonderful Valentine's Day! Hope you do get a photo ...someday! :)

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  4. I look forward to that photo. Happy belated Valentine's Day to the both of you! :-)

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  5. You had a good time and made a good time for residents.

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  6. A wonderful occasion and a treasure to stay in your mind for a long time. How lovely that you and your dear lady were able to dance together.

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  7. A Valentines dance — so sweet and lovely! How nice that your dear Barb has made some friends. Looking forward to the photo.

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  8. How wonderful that you could spread those sweet feelings among the residents. Happiness and fun is contagious.
    How neat that Barb has made friends and that her compassion is still active.

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  9. Sweet and moving post, Troutbirder. What a nice thing to do.

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  10. Oh my! How LOVELY to have that moment...that day with Barb and her friends! I am sure the caregivers are very grateful to you for inspiring the dance. I'm guessing you still have a smile on your face from that visit.

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  11. I do look forward to that pictures of you and your sweetheart.

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  12. I’m glad you had such a wonderful Valentine Day with your sweetheart. I hope you get some pictures soon.

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  13. I can't wait to see the picture. You are an inspiration.

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  14. This and the other memories of your dear bride will never leave you Ray. They'll be a comfort on dreary days. My best to you, my friend.
    Mike

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  16. That was lovely, Ray. Happy Valentine Day to you and your beloved.

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  17. What a beautiful memory and thank you for sharing it with us, Ray.

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  18. I'm sending Valentine hugs to you … your memories are lovely.

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