"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location.
.. When fish are in
schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a
manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't
stand alone; it is two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
.. When she saw her
first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
.. Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
Oh, what fun! Thanks for the pun-fest, TB. I enjoyed them all, or at least most of them. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy retirement is not working.
ReplyDeleteloved these corny things!
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeleteI like 'em and I wish I could think of one.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Very humorous. Thanks for the smile.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I don't know that I select a favorite. They're all good.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles:)
ReplyDeleteOH how cute... I love this kind of humor. I also have a friend who spits out this stuff constantly... I am going to send this to him...Thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
Pretty funny,saw asters blooming today
ReplyDeleteYou had me smiling all the way through though "photographic memory" hit a bit close to home.
ReplyDeleteI think I am a lexophile at heart.
ReplyDeleteA will is a dead giveaway. If you don't pay your exorcist you will be repossessed. I LOVED this post. Of course I am also a lexophile.
ReplyDeleteThese keep us going. Some of these people pick up by listening to others.
ReplyDeleteLoved these. Here in the UK there is a yearly competition to see who comes up with the best one-liner. Thanks for the morning smile.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to share these with my brother-in-law. He is non stop.
ReplyDeleteI love words but was not acquainted with lexophile. Now I can acknowledge my love of puns with a term that should certainly engender more respect, or at least some curiosity.
ReplyDeleteExcellent. Had to "borrow" them to share.
ReplyDelete